In the mindset I was in when I wrote yesterday about being @ the crossroads, it was appropriate for me to read the following words in a devotional by Frederick Buechner I have been following for the past 6 months:
“time… starts at whatever moment it is at which the unthinking and timeless innocence of childhood ends… one way or another the journey through time starts for us all… a journey in search… We search for a self to be. We search for other selves to love. We search for work to do.”
I don’t know when I left my childhood behind, but I think it happened recently. Others used words like naivety to describe it, but it was really just that childhood innocence that we all hold on to as long as we can. I certainly didn’t want to give it up, but it went nonetheless, and now I’m in search.
What I need now is just to let God lead me to those things I seek and to a return to being once again “a mature, responsible, 6-year-old.” I still think I have more of my innocence left than some, but I want it all back. It’ll just take some searching in the mean time.